HOW TO LIVE

There's a scene in the new film 'W.' where a recently born again George W. Bush is told by his preacher that he should treat everyone he meets as though they're going to die at midnight.  

If that means means going around acting like I know something that no one else does, I'm doing a great job at it.

But no, I think what that really means is that we should try and treat people with respect and love and be kind and forgiving.  And that's nice, but it seems a little optimistic to me.  There are definitely some people, that if I knew they would be dead within a few hours, that I would finally really let know what I think of them.  You hear that, Mom and Dad?

And let's not forget that sex is a thing that exists.  There are tons of people, literally tons, that I would try to have sex with if I knew they were about to die.  Unless whatever was killing them was also making them deteriorate physically.  Well, not across the board...there are some people for whom I would be willing to look past that.  

And I can't help but wonder how I would act if it was me in the death seat.  What would I do?  I guess I would want to surround myself with friends and loved ones.  And as embarrassing as it is to admit this, I would probably want to go to the beach.  How cliche.  

Imagine, though, how awkward it would be, when I had to explain to my (hopefully) grieveing family when I explained that I wanted to leave them for a while and spend some of my last precious hours of life fornicating.  Because look, if you're about to magically die, I'm pretty sure you can get anyone you want.  And they'll probably be cool with things getting weird.  Oh God, I can hear my parents complaining about this already.  

So maybe the smart thing to do would be to just be very selective about who you told you were about to die.  That might lead to some hurt feelings, but I would just send those people a letter or something.

So bottom line here, if I ask you to have sex with me, you had better do it, because I might be dying.  Be cool.